Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize