Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
