last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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