my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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