i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
