Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
