i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
