I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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