At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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