Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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