Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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