hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
