I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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