The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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