Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
