is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
