I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
