before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
