im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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