doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
