I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
