i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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