Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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