Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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