I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
