Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
PANTIES FOUND
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
