You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
