I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
