Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize