You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i was born a porn star she said
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
