So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
