is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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