Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize