Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
