You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
