If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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