your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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