I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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