If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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