you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
