I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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