Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
