so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
