i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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