You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
