i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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