and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
