so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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