You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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