I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
