Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
