i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
