I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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