I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
