i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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