East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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