Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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