Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
