are you so shy because you have an std?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
