theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
