So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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