Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
