yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
