last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
