you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
