i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
