I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
