On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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