Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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