Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
