I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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