there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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