Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
