I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize