wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
